


The Charm of a Third Attempt

by Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains



Series: Of Tears and Ash [19]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Discussion, Gen, Ridiculous dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains/pseuds/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains
Summary: Orestes tells Iphicles another tale with the objective of persuading him to reveal his opinion on a particular subject.
Series: Of Tears and Ash [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050806
Kudos: 8





	The Charm of a Third Attempt

“Ah, Iphicles, my friend, there is a matter that has come to my attention which I feel it would do us both some good to discuss.”

Iphicles looked up and over at Orestes, seated across from him in the back of the wagon, motionless now for the evening.The light from the campfire, around which the merchants were gathered, cast an orange glow on the side of Orestes’s face, making him look rather like a storyteller, Iphicles thought.Given that Kadmos was currently on one of his nightly walks, Iphicles wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if the matter to which Orestes was referring ended up involving a fair amount of storytelling.Knowing his companion, Iphicles suspected this would be the latest volley in their ongoing game, in which Orestes attempted to persuade him to reveal is opinion on their abandonment of Kadmos to guard the wagons several days earlier.

It was, to be sure, a stupid, trivial kind of pursuit, but it was a good source of entertainment nonetheless, and Iphicles wasn’t about to try to prevent his friend from having another go at it.Truth be told, he felt about ready to disclose his thoughts on the matter involving Kadmos, so that they could move onto a new ‘round’ of sorts, in which he would be the one trying to pry information from Orestes.It was a game they had been playing for a good while now, taking turns in the roles.“Really now?”Iphicles responded with a grin.“And what would this matter happen to be?”

“Well, you see,” Orestes replied, working his mouth into a forced frown, “I lacked foresight last night, and once again went out drinking with two of my good comrades.”

“Orestes, my friend, how absolutely negligent of you,” Iphicles observed.“The same ones as last time, I presume?”

“The very same, I must confess,” Orestes confirmed.“Selucreh and Knee-swollaus, infamous though they may be.”

“I take it then, that you didn’t learn your lesson last time?”Iphicles raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I suppose that I did not, my friend,” Orestes answered, trying to sound sheepish.“Though this time, trust me when I say that I have firmly learned it, and will do my very best to avoid any further drinking with those two individuals.”

“You don’t say now,” Iphicles said with a light laugh.“And what, if I might be so bold as to inquire, transpired that finally taught you your lesson this time?”

“Well, though I am not proud to divulge that, I will do so nonetheless,” Orestes responded, looking down, as if ashamed by what he was about to disclose. 

Iphicles grinned in amusement.“Well then, hesitate not on my behalf.On with it and out with it, my companion.”

“Oh, very well, very well, if you so insist,” Orestes responded, shaking his head sadly.“I shall hold back no longer.You see, last night, once again, Selucreh and Knee-swollaus persuaded me, under the influence of spirits as I was, to join them on a questionable adventure of theirs.As you can imagine, now, in possession of my full, uninhibited wits, I can only look upon the expedition which I have agreed to with complete dismay and embarrassment.My face grows red with humiliation at the thought of the absurd endeavor which I have consented to be a part of!”

“That does sound like a trying situation to be trapped within,” Iphicles mused.“Especially after the taxing ordeal that was your slog through the swamp in search of the Shy-dra.”

“Oh, I know, I know,” Orestes moaned, sounding downright pitiful.“That endeavor was foolish enough, and truly broke the core of my very spirit with its length.It felt as though we spent an entire month in those marshes, soaked to the bone with the foul, stagnant waters!I am still recovering from the chill which permeated my body during those interminable days.And yet, I fear that this next quest upon which they plan to drag me shall be the worse one by far!”

“Worse than the fruitless search for the Shy-dra?”Iphicles asked, somewhat dubious that such a thing was possible.“How could anything be any worse than that pointless pursuit?”

“Ah, Iphicles, my friend, how could you ask me such a question?”Orestes complained.“To merely think of the details of this latest quest brings down harm upon my physical being.I fear that I shall not survive this expedition!This may be the last you see of me, my comrade.Perhaps it is my time to leave this world of the living, and face the banks of the Styx.”

“Orestes, I must know what this horrible quest is, which inspires such fatal dread in you,” Iphicles responded, concern lacing his voice.“What is this adventure on which they are intent to embark?”

Orestes slumped low, cradling his head in his hands, before looking up at Iphicles, a forlorn look in his eyes.“Very well, my friend,” he began, “I shall tell you of this quest.You see, in the far north, many leagues beyond the town in which I met to drink with Selucreh and Knee-swollaus, there lies a mighty range of mountains, pushing up toward the sky above.They are towering behemoths, upon which snow daily falls, rendering them a rocky, frozen waste.It is said by many that they are too harsh to allow any life to dwell within their steeps and crags.And yet, others say that this is not the case.That in fact, something does dwell within that high and rocky domain.”

“What could survive in such an inhospitable landscape?”Iphicles inquired, leaning in as if intrigued.

“A beast so fell as to be unthinkable,” Orestes replied, his voice diminishing to little more than a whisper.“I fear to even speak of it, lest some ill befall me, but speak of it I shall natheless, if only so you may know why my heart has been so chilled that I fear I must soon gather together my coins to pay the ferryman.”

“You have my thanks for that, good Orestes,” Iphicles said, coaxing a faux comforting tone into his voice, while hiding a smile behind his hand.“Take your time, and speak only as quickly as you feel able to.I would not wish to strain your soul any further.”

“Ah, thank you my friend, for understanding the burden upon my heart in this affair,” Orestes responded, biting his lip to keep from laughing.“I shall do my best to convey the terror of the beast which dwells within those peaks, so much as my heart can stand to imagine it.”

“That is all I can ask,” Iphicles said with a nod.

Orestes took a deep breath, and began to speak.“This monstrous creature that some say dwells within these mountains is believed to be a vile combination, a ghastly mixture.According to Selucreh and Knee-Swollaus, it is part pig, part falcon, and part wild cat.It is a massive thing, vastly disproportionate to the animals of which it is comprised, bound together and enlarged through some arcane ritual or divine intervention.Who can say for certain!They say its very existence pains it, and that its moans and grunts of suffering carry on the winds that whistle through the mountain peaks, like a haunting song, a ceaseless dirge.Because of the sighing sound of the wind which bears its fiendish melody, it is called the Sigh-mera!”

Iphicles painted a look of disquietude upon his face.“That does indeed sound like a frightful monster!Please, tell me that Selucreh and Knee-Swollaus don’t intend to embark on a hunt for it, as they did for the Shy-dra.”

“Alas and alack, that is precisely what they intend to do!”Orestes lamented, shaking his head bitterly.“Even though I doubt the Sigh-mera is any more real than the Shy-dra, they are intent on discovering the truth for themselves, regardless of the danger which such an expedition involves!The conditions in the mountains are not merely inimical, they are downright fatal!I fear that my constitution may not be able to withstand the relentless snow and the pernicious cold.I greatly wish to avoid accompanying them on this foolish trip.”

“As well you should,” Iphicles remarked.“It is only wise to be apprehensive about something so injurious to your wellbeing.”

“Indeed, my friend, I felt that you would understand this.But, in order to escape from this deadly adventure, I require your aid,” Orestes responded.

“In what capacity?”Iphicles inquired.

“Much like the caveat regarding my evasion of the Shy-dra quest, the only way my friends will let me avoid this mission is if you are willing to tell me the truth of the matter of our abandonment of Kadmos with the wagons several days ago, so that I may pass on this news to them,” Orestes explained.

“I see, I see.”Iphicles paused, thinking it over.“You know that is a heavy price to pay,” he commented, trying to keep a straight face.

“Trust me, I am well aware of that fact,” Orestes said gravely, hiding his face.Iphicles was fairly certain that the other man was struggling not to laugh out loud.He could see his shoulders shaking.

“Hmm . . . well . . . I suppose if it is to save you from what can only be called profound peril, it is a sacrifice worth making,” Iphicles announced.He looked across at Orestes, who raised his gaze to meet his own.Iphicles saw that his mouth was forced into a tight line, probably to prevent any chortles from spilling forth.Orestes nodded slowly, the gravity of the motion offset by the twinkle of mirth in his eyes.

“Now, I will be quick about this,” Iphicles said, prefacing his elucidation.“It is not a subject of which I desire to speak of at great length, as to do so would be akin to driving a blade into my very heart, to drain forth my life blood as a martyr for a broken cause.You understand this, do you not?This is a severe issue indeed, and not one to be taken lightly.I impart this knowledge to you only because it is what is required to ensure your own survival.Had it not been for this strange set of circumstances which demanded the disclosure of it, the truth of the matter concerning Kadmos and the wagons was one I had fully planned to carry close to my chest until my very demise at some unforeseen point in the future, many years from now.I am most reluctant to part with it, but I will do so for your sake.”

Orestes nodded to this once again, now visibly biting his lip to keep from laughing.

“Very good, very good,” Iphicles stated.“I merely want you to understand the profundity of all that I am about to tell you.These words are ones which you must hold close to your bosom, much like I kept them close to mine.Though I know you must convey them to Selucreh and Knee-swollaus in order to remedy your conundrum, under no circumstances may you utter these words to any other party for as long as you live, under the pain of breaking the deepest of trusts between comrades.Will you agree to this?”

Iphicles could hear muffled laughter, as Orestes nodded, clapping a hand over his mouth.For his part, Iphicles was having some difficulty keeping it together as well.He didn’t excel in the department of theatrics quite as much as his companion, but he personally felt that he did well enough, all things considered.

“Now then, I will reveal the truth to you at last.To be honest, I felt no significant guilt over our leaving of Kadmos to watch over the wagons himself.I felt that he would be content to do so, given that he is the type of individual who enjoys some time alone now and then, and seems to possess no strong desire to always be in the company of others, or engaged in some conversation or discussion.Thus, I felt it was an insignificant choice, and one which, as I recall, he agreed to readily enough.Taking into account all of this, it appeared to me that I had no cause for guilt, an opinion which I still hold,” Iphicles expounded carefully, maintaining a solemn, severe comportment through the entirety of his speech.“Now, will that be satisfactory?”

“Yes,” Orestes replied.“It most certainly will.”Humor was clearly evident in his voice, and it was clear that it was taking a good deal of effort on his part not to begin laughing without restraint.

“You know, next round, I’m going to be the one prying information out of you,” Iphicles remarked, drawing his flask.“Mind if I borrow your characters?”

Orestes ceased holding back and began laughing in earnest at this.“By all means,” he replied through his giggles.“Do with them as you wish!I’m sure there are plenty more beasts they wish to seek.Perhaps they’ll try to drag you on their next expedition.Who can say such things for certain though?”

Iphicles chuckled along with his companion.“Certainly not me, that much is exceedingly clear,” he replied.“The future is behind our eyes, for now.But, if I was the sort of man who trusted my instincts, which, to be absolutely fair, I rather am, I would say that I feel as though there is a decent chance that your notorious companions Selucreh and Knee-Swollaus may try to rope me into their next adventure, should I suffer a lapse in judgement and agree to join them during one of their drinking sessions.In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s probable, even!”With that, Iphicles unstopped his flask and raised it to his lips.Orestes was too busy laughing to respond to his friend’s latest statement.

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of my HTLJ fics from 2018 (set in my "Of Tears and Ash" AU) that I never posted, but decided I might as well, considering the time I put into them. Once again, since I'm no longer really in the fandom, I'm backdating this to when I wrote it, so no one thinks I'm suddenly back into HTLJ.


End file.
